Exhibit 8.12

I hate April Fool’s Day. I don’t know who’s responsible for it–probably the Australians–but a responsible democratic populace needs to have faith in the newspapers, television stations, and video game news websites it relies on for information.

Take these hoaxes from North Platte, Nebraska’s local paper:

Kids learn too at hazardous waste collection day
-Ha! Everyone knows Hazardous Waste Collection day is in May. Nice try.

Totally nude bar scheduled to open Friday
-Ha! The ‘totally’ nude bar has been open for years. They must be referring to the new ‘utterly’ nude bar that is opening in the old Blimpie.

68 people arrested at Dawson County party
-Ha! They meant to say Sherman County.

NP man remains in grave condition after bar fight
-Wait, where was it at? Kelsey’s Place? Actually, this one sounds about right. Never mind.

If I were to do April Fool’s Day pranks, they’d probably be about Shelley Long. Maybe something about her coming back to television to do a Cheers spin-off. Maybe it would be called Cheer Up! Oh, but I can’t joke about something I want so very deeply to be true.

Comment / Posted in Grave Conditions, Holidays, Sherman County

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