Exhibit 7.1

On Editing a Novel #4

TURNING YOUR NOVEL INTO A LEGAL THRILLER. It’s probably become clear that the painstaking fictionalization of your adolescence isn’t nearly as emotionally tortured as you hoped. If publishing your novel is less important to you than accurately describing your junior prom, you should skip to step #18 ‘ACQUIRING THE PUBLISHING RIGHTS TO TOAD THE WET SPROCKET SONGS’.

If you are interested in seeing your novel published, it is probably time to turn it into a legal thriller.

First you’ll need a plaintiff. And then a defendant. It’s not important that you know the difference, only that you make one of them someone big and evil while the other is small and scrappy. This is best done by making the bad guy literally three or four times as big as the good guy so that there is no confusion. The judge should still be normal sized.

To complete the transition, simply do a find and replace for the following phrases:

Tea Biscuits -> Legal Briefs
No -> I object
“I want to tell you something.” -> “If it pleases the court.”
Stabs -> Files
“You can handle the truth.” -> “You can’t handle the truth.”
Her -> Habeas Corpus
Home -> All the Way to the Top
“I need you.” -> “We need to find McMurphy!”
Prison -> Law School
Love -> Jurisprudence

Now your sentimental tripe is a daring legal thriller.

Comment / Posted in Editing, McMurphys, Writing

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