Exhibit 1.9.6

A Primer on the Rules of Cricket, Pt. 9




81. Betwixt the first and second innings there shall be the third inning also known commonly as the half-florin though a Brixton man, gin having made him cleverer than God thought proper, might say ‘ay, two bob a bit’ for which he shall be most severely caned. After the caning, play shall, naturally, resume in the 8th inning.

82. Let us consider for a moment the plight of the Fool set upon by the wooligogs of his own madness.

83. The glove flirtations of the ladies in attendance shall be subject to the authority of the Earl of groundsmen assisted in his dominion by the viscount of same. Meanings shall follow strictly the Marquess of Ailesbury Protocols with a dropped glove meaning ‘To the Garden’; an exposed thumb meaning ‘No tis the First Declension’; a slapped palm meaning ‘Does your lady mother disapprove of my gown and what pray does this mean for tonight’s masque.’ and so on and so on till the gloves fall out of fashion and a new lexicon might be inaugurated.

84. A devil’s century it shall be called when a batsman outlives his hated bowler and no matter how many fortyears hence the notice must be posted in a public square that, in the end, death won all but some more than most.

85. Should the wooligogs prove contagious through phlegm, bile, or unknown humour, play shall be suspended as we all join the army of the fool’s mind, our ultimate fate at the whimsy of his melancholic imagination. God help us. God help us all.

86. A device for succession must be drafted before play can proceed and before that a census of faith taken by cincture. Should an unparallel number of Papists and Protestants appear, the side of superior numbers shall by rights declare it a WAR! and water the pitch with whichever blood is determined by the victors to be pagan. Should equal weight be found, the looks passed between players shall be of dubious character.

87. My dearest Martha, it grows dire here in the dark alleyways of the Fool’s mind and should you find me eternally lost think only of the time we spent after you dropped your glove in that garden abutting the abbey. The wooligogs scream their silent scream.

88. Mayhaps instead of tea we might try the tonics the men remember so fondly from their time in Rhodesia and how it provided the vigor needed to defeat both the Roman Fever and the trouble.

89.The southron practice of conscripting Scots femurs for the wicket is henceforth condemned as somatically unsound lest they come from the same Scotsman and are found by a chemist to be free of rheumatism.

90. At the last minute of light the battle shall commence and be lost within a robin’s wink. The Fool, does he dance or cry?

Comment / Posted in Cricket, Primers, Wooligogs

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *