Weekends

Exhibit 9.25

I’ve never been good at, nor do I particularly like, taking pictures. Thankfully I wasn’t often behind the camera this past weekend so it gave me plenty of time to practice my smirk.


Yeah, that’s a good one.


I actually had to crop myself out of this picture. Given the angles, there’s no way they could have seen the absurd look on my face, but I’m pretty sure everyone in this picture was laughing at me anyway.

I’m related to all of those people.


This is actually from a different day. I dress like this all the time, incidentally.


Grandma!

Comment / Posted in Cases Against Perfection, Grandmas, Weekends

Exhibit 9.22

Weekend Recap

Friday
*Waited an hour to try on tuxedo. Told be fellow tryer-oner that if my shoes were white my tuxedo would be dope. Considered arguing this point but ultimately agreed to the declaration of dopeness.

*Avoided being upbraided by the priest at the rehearsal. This was more difficult than it sounds. Not everyone was so lucky.

*Listened to my grandmother talk extensively about Grey’s Anatomy. She seemed to think the season finale was a good one, for what it’s worth.

*Played pool. Lost to Heather. Discussed merits of relativism. Checked into hotel by finding the safe with my name on it making it the most James Bondian of any hotel experience I’ve ever had. Best Western in Tulsa now second.

Saturday
*Pictures.

*Smiled.

*Smiled.

*Smiled.

*On point with rings. No official sign of respect from the priest, but he knew I was good. Walked back down the aisle and then saw a lot of people who sort of looked like me.

*Bus. Oh, Jesus.

*Provided effective dead weight in darts.

*Entrance. Roast beef. Beans. Toast. Handshakes. Dancing. Hugs. Good night.

Congratulations, Jeff and Katie.

Sunday
*Home just in time to fall asleep in order to nap long enough for Dave’s party. Started to rain but not before I was able to provide effective dead weight in bocce.

*Lights went off. Found out that Dave and Neal have an old boombox that saved the party. Started to reconsider the number of candles we have.

*Ate some peanut butter and chocolate Poppycock. Felt good about it.

Happy Birthday, Dave.

Monday
*Washed off burrito that someone threw at my car while at Dave’s. Went to see Indiana Jones. Started to reconsider this whole Shia LaBeouf thing.

*Pined for Season Three of The Wire. Non-Wire entertainment and general exhaustion resulted in sleep at 10:30.

1 Comment / Posted in Bond, Dead Weight, Weekends

Exhibit 9.21

Favorites for My Brother’s Wedding Awards

Best Relative:
Grandma

Best Entree:
Steak and Fish (tie)

Best opening line of my toast:
“As the McNultys taught us about marriage…”

Best Activity for Those Not at the Rehearsal Dinner:
Poetry Reading

Best Remaining Question from Redbelt:
Who ended up paying those bills?

Best Fake Spoiler:
Indiana Jones dies

Best Song:
“Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough”

Best Boy:
Terry Lewis

Best Man:
Me

1 Comment / Posted in Grandmas, Poetry, Weekends