Profits

Exhibit 16.23

Possible Reasons Why Someone Is Selling a Used Copy of My Untimely Death for $53.91 Plus Shipping at Amazon.com

1. It’s a rare copy with the following inscription: To Mom, I love you. Thank you for pushing me to follow my dreams. Please don’t sell this to a used book store in Jacksonville. Your son, Adam.

2. I’m going to die very soon. Possibly at the hands of the book’s owner who, even as smoke is still rising from the barrel, will have gotten his outrageous price. His to-do list will then look like this:

  • Artificially inflate market for unknown writer to reap fame and profit
  • Murder someone
  • Spend profits on digital television converter box

And he will feel very glad he got to cross off two things at once as he drives toward the Best Buy.

3. They haven’t read it.

4. This is the first step in what will soon be a chapbook-based economy. In 2064, everyone will be telling their grandchildren about how they used to be able to get a new car for four Cohens, two Svalinas, one McCrae, half a Schomburg, and 1,800 Ware/Chavez/May/Gannon/Perrys and how they’d put their change in the Give-A-Peterson-Take-A-Peterson bookshelf.

So invest. The chapbook-heavy portfolio will always pay off for the literate investor.

5. The bookmark inside is The Fantastic Four Annual Number 2 from 1964.

Comment / Posted in Chapbooks, Profits, Writing