NY Times

Exhibit 11.1

Heather and I made more chocolate chip cookies.

(I know you’re thinking that we live in some magical, cookie-filled paradise. You’re mostly right).

Really we just had some standard chocolate chips lingering about and decided to give the old Tollhouse recipe a go to see if it could stand up to our adventures in Cookie-of-Record-approved deliciousness.

Um, no.

They weren’t bad exactly. The first one even tasted great if only because their mediocrity made us think of how good cookies could be, sort of like how watching any other third baseman makes a person think of George Brett (no? just me?). Perhaps for the first few bites we were even able to fool ourselves into thinking the flat, sparsely chocolated discs were those other cookies.

In the end, tasteless crumbs stuck to the tears running past our mouths as we shouted recriminations.

Or maybe I’m just misremembering.

7 Comments / Posted in Cooking, NY Times, Recriminations

Exhibit 10.24

As the next step of this blog’s continued devolution from hard hitting literary and political analysis to masochistic sports blog to smiley-faced cooking blog, this post is about cookies.

The Times occasionally takes it upon itself to decide what the best recipe for _______ is and recently they’ve turned their gaze to chocolate chip cookies. Their quest is detailed here which I’m redundantly linking to despite the fact it has inevitably been emailed to you by your grandmother. The recipe–a chronicle of cacao ratios and refrigeration times–is here.

Not wanting to miss the most recent cookie zeitgeist like we missed the Cakester fad, Heather and I already took a stab at these and I’m here to tell you they are nothing short of incredible.

In the oven they seemed threateningly puffy, the sort of lonely, doughy cookies that you see at a school potluck, but by the time they were done they’d settled into the perfect ratio of crispy outside and chewy inside.

Plus, look at that presentation. I wasn’t sure about the step calling for a brown table cloth, but the Times really came through.

Stay tuned as this blog continues to decline in coming weeks until it’s nothing but artwork done by Australian children:


2 Comments / Posted in Cooking, Grandmas, NY Times

Exhibit 9.4

It’s sad to see Ernie Chambers leave the unicameral. I’ve already given my eulogy here.

The Times is also on the story.

4 Comments / Posted in Chambers, Eulogies, NY Times

Exhibit 1.7

So Heather sent me this article which ends with the often pondered scenario of what would happen if a group of infants found themselves stranded on an island in the Galapagos (which is surprisingly specific on the location of the island of abandonment but disturbingly ambiguous on the number of children. Would some parents just not come forward when the Baby Plane crashed?) Would the children create a language? If so, how long would it take and what kind of language would it be?

Of course, nobody answers with Yes, 9 years, French which is, of course, correct.

Far more interesting to me are the other tangents here about what kind of society these plane babies would construct on a well-charted island in the middle of a tourist destination. I imagine them staring longingly at passing nature cruises but unable to express their confusion because another plane baby has the conch and is berating a local waiter in perfect French.

I’m surprised no one pointed out that these plane babies would most likely be assholes. Actually, Noam Chomsky probably did.

The question linguists should be asking–and, by the way, I think it wouldn’t be all that hard to get this experiment off the ground. Babies, land, and time are pretty much our most abundant resources–is how complicated the rules governing the conch would be. The correct answer is, of course, very.

Comment / Posted in Language, NY Times, Plane Babies