Exhibit 22.27

Literary Criticism Done as if I Were a Character’s Opinionated Friend and Could Give Them Advice Then Publish Said Advice in an Academic Journal and Become Bigger than Stanley Fish

Jurassic Park

Wait, really? Awesome. Well, sure, when you give me all the details it doesn’t sound quite so awesome. Yes, yes, Malcolm, you called it. Chaos Theory blah blah. I’m sure that will make you feel so much better when the pterodactyls are eating your face. I don’t know if they’re actually carnivores, you’re the one on Dinosaur Island. Fine, I’ll Wikipedia it. Yes, ate meat. There. No, it doesn’t say how to kill them. I don’t know, I’m sure it’s never come up before. If you were so certain this would happen, you should have packed a shotgun. Yes, I think a shotgun would probably kill them. I don’t know where there would be a shotgun. Ask the raptors. Sorry, sorry. That wasn’t funny. If the worst happens, I’ll tell the world your story. In the movie, I’ll make sure they cast Gary Sinise.

Comment / Posted in Criticism, Fiction, Islands

Exhibit 4.21

Went to see Zach Schomburg read in Omaha last night and needless to say he was incredible. By asking questions like, “Do you guys like islands?” Zach was able to tailor his reading specifically to our audience which, as it turns out, was disproportionately fond of islands.

If you haven’t purchased his book yet, you’re either crazy or don’t like islands. I honestly can’t think of a better book to get someone this Christmas. It’s like getting someone a happiness machine.

Tonight, another great reading at Nebraska Wesleyan. Go see Harryette Mullen at 7:00 pm. As always, it’s in the Callen Conference Center.

If this keeps up, we’ll all have no choice but to become brilliant and physically attractive poets. Everyone else is doing it.

Comment / Posted in Islands, Poetry, Readings