Exhibit 1.3.26

Things, Promotional and Otherwise

* A friend of mine decided to move the party to Doha and is writing a phenomenal–and phenomenally titled–blog called It’s Pronounced Qatar. Or maybe that’s only phenomenal if you actually know how to pronounce Qatar which, it turns out, I didn’t (it rhymes with “butter”). I’m considering his experience there practice for the upcoming World Cup. Also, pronouncing butter.

* Brief thoughts on the Obama speech kerfuffle: O Jesus Christ, really?

* The Cupboard needs you to like it. Harder. Please help us by liking our page here and telling your friends to do so, too. We’re terrible about this stuff.

* Brief Dolphins thoughts: Vegas has them at 7.5 wins. I’d probably still bet the under (or at least that’s the smart bet), but for some reason (likely the Orton debacle) people who don’t know the team keep saying they’ll be lucky to win 4. This makes no sense to me. I think Vegas is begging you to take the under not realizing the Dolphins are going to finish with a top-3 defense.

* NewPages wrote a really nice review of the new Camera Obscura which says such embarrassingly nice things about my story that I sort of want to punch them. I too love this journal, and everyone should. Subscribe, submit, spread the word.

* O, and there’s this Mark Sanchez is not (yet) better than Chad Henne. Anyone who has the Jets winning the Super Bowl should probably be aware of that. Sorry. That was more Dolphins thoughts. I should have warned you.

* In more journal pimping news, a friend of mine started a new online journal called Owl Eye Review which is up and accepting submissions and watching you. The first issue is great, and I expect even greater things in the future. I mean, if we can trust owls which, I don’t know, it might be time to.

* What I’m saying is, the Jets got worse this offseason, the Dolphins got slightly better. Don’t get me wrong, the Jets are still a better team in all likelihood, by why are some people acting like 11 wins are a sure thing for the Jets while the Dolphins won’t get 5? The following things are true: the Dolphins defense is better, Mark Sanchez and Chad Henne are a wash, and we’re coming up on the time when Rex Ryan starts to get tuned out. Just saying. O, and that was about politics.

* Laura Eve and I have a [SPOILER ALERT] in the new DIAGRAM. This issue just launched so I haven’t had much time to read through it, but I see names I know and trust. Plus, it’s DIAGRAM. What could go wrong?

* Update: Since I first posted this, I read Bill Barnwell’s NFL preview on which includes the smartest take on the Dolphins I’ve read yet in the national media. He nails the team’s potential downfall while still realizing there’s a lot of talent on the team.

Comment / Posted in Dolphins, Journals, Links

Exhibit 13.26

Election Predictions

Electoral Vote Count: Obama 353-1851
Percentage of Popular Vote: Obama 53.2
Percentage of Winner over Loser: Obama +6.9%
Democratic Senate Seats: 58 (including Sanders and Lieberman)
Time of Concession Speech: 11:35 (Eastern Time)
Dolphins (-9) vs. Seahawks: Seahawks2
Olivo vs. Buck: Olivo (apparently)
Sign of This Blog’s Decline: Brett Photo
Percentage of Emails I’m Responding To: 30%
HTML I’ve Learned in the Last 10 Minutes: Superscripting
Time I’m Leaving Work to Go Watch Results: 4:403

Feel free to post your own predictions in the comments.

1 Obama wins Ohio, Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, Colorado, but loses Indiana and Missouri.
2 Don’t get me wrong, I think the Dolphins win that game, but should they really be giving nine points? Seems like they’re begging you to take the Seahawks but, well, I still would.
3 Joke!
4 I’m staying until five, boss, honest.

4 Totally not a joke.

Comment / Posted in Dolphins, Politics, Victories

Exhibit 1.16

Things you should be looking for in tonight’s pre-season opening Dolphins game:

  • John Beck’s performance. Not as a quarterback–that will be fine–but as the lead in the Adam Peterson story. Look at this guy. Seeing him in a Dolphins uniform is like watching one of my dreams in the third person.
  • Ted Ginn vs. Ted Ginn’s hamstring. The battle no one wins.
  • Cam Cameron’s head coaching debut. He seems like a good guy, but there is no denying that he went 18-37 in his only other head coaching job at IU. Which, by the way, is his alma mater. This worries me. If/when Drake University ever puts me in charge of their non-scholarship division 1-AA football program, I’m going to do a little better than 18-37. I don’t care how many times I have to run Scotty Phaydavong.
  • Jason Allen continuing to do his statue impression when on the field. He couldn’t be more of a bust if he didn’t have a torso. No one can convince me that Saban didn’t actually want to draft some other guy named Jason Allen Smith but forgot to write the last name on the card. Then when Tagliabue read the name, Saban just played it cool and told everyone in the room, “Well, I’m sure he’s good too.”
  • My favorite sleeper player: David Sutton. He’s a 6-6 ex-volleyball player who only caught 6 passes during his time at UTEP. No jokes here. He’s good.
Comment / Posted in Dolphins, Phaydavongs, Sports