Exhibit 1.8.9

Initial Portland Doings








Not Pumping



Comment / Posted in Coffee, Kitchens, Portland

Exhibit 1.4.17

Things I Hope People at This Coffeeshop Are Thinking About Me

* Wow, a Macbook. He must be doing art not updating his fantasy football team.

* Wow, a Macbook and iPod, he’s stylish yet independent in a way we, with our totally purchased just to conform Macbooks, can only aspire to be.

* That probably isn’t the J. Geil’s Band we’re hearing from his headphones.

* Let’s bother him in this small, 2-hour window we have before he starts grading that stack of papers.

* I bet he’s an individual who has thoughts on Barthes’s Writing Degree Zero and thus making him write about it would be pointless. We’ll tell everyone.

* He’s in law school.

* I bet he snuck some whiskey into that double-caramel caramel macchiato because he just looks like that sort of guy.

* He probably doesn’t want to talk about the Kansas City Royals, but I’m going to ask anyway just in case.

* His computer is angled slightly away so it will be impossible for us to read his short story which we were totally going to do if given a more advantageous angle by which we might have experienced his work that the world is apparently not ready for yet (geometrically speaking).

* Hard to believe someone with such a carefully curated homeless look doesn’t have somewhere better to be at 1:30 on a Wednesday.

* Look at the way he doesn’t even look up when people are walking by. He’s really locked in…O, nope, he’s staring at us.

Comment / Posted in Angels, Coffee, Real Time

Exhibit 1.3.15

What’s Currently Killing Me

1. Being out of coffee.

2. It being too hot to get coffee.

3. Wurlitzers.

4. Replying to emails, phone calls, letters, owls, waves, punches.

5. The term “debt ceiling.”

6. Tuesdays. Just as, like, a thing we can’t do anything about.

7. Socks. Just as, like, a thing we can’t do anything about.

8. The murderer.

9. Taco truck ennui.

10. Not these sweatpants.

1 Comment / Posted in Coffee, Dying, Murderers

Exhibit 26.25


* The Cupboard Summer Sale – it’s ending soon. $12/subscriptions, $3/volumes.

* I’ve been reading through these poems all morning instead of finding a place to live. I’m really good at not finding places to live.

* Yesterday in coffeeshopping, a man came in with a Starbucks cup and turned on a TV that was in the corner. This was not a Starbucks. The man then flipped channels until finding Hidalgo which he seemed really excited about. Unfortunately, the barista then came over, yelled at the man by name, and told the man he was sick of this. The man then left without asking the barista what exactly he was sick of. The TV watching? The Starbucks? The Viggo Mortensen? It was the most exhilarating 30 seconds of my day.

* In order to understand this, I had to wikipedia Twitter and find out what RT and hashtag meant. Still, #edibleshortstories is fun. I would go with “A Good Day for Bananafish” but that’s, you know, already the title.

Comment / Posted in Coffee, Poems, The Cupboard

Exhibit 26.24

I Need to Post Something

Because that last post is depressing me. Here are things happening right this moment that aren’t depressing me:

The team of businessmen at this coffee shop loudly plotting a convenience store

The barista’s apparent love of bongo-driven percussion

The prospect of newborn convenience stores

Spelling my students’ names

The sentence “Do we really need that much Keystone Light?”

4 Comments / Posted in Coffee, Convenience, Lights

Exhibit 6.16

On Editing a Novel #3

DESCRIBING YOUR PROTAGONIST. Your first draft probably described your main character with a series of adjectives once in the first sentence of the novel and never mentioned what he or she looked like ever again. So how do you turn “Tom was tall, kind of orangish, teary-eyed, a sno cone lover, short, smelled like Tab soda, awesome, haptic, a good tipper, a SWMDDF in his personal ad, sort-of medium-heighted, salty, and not entirely sure who killed his father.” into a novel’s worth of powerful description?

All you have to do is search for every time the character’s name get used an insert one of your adjectives in front of it. Just watch:

I never though I would step foot in this Arby’s again, awesome Tom thought.

Watching the woman carefully, Tom smelled like Tab soda.

Professional writers might even work the adjectives into speech to make your descriptions come more naturally:

“I’m starting to think no one killed Tom’s father,” she said. “But Tom is a good tipper.”

If you run out of adjectives, look around the room and take them from items around you (e.g. a cup of coffee on your desk could add some “steam” to your character’s personality or some “Colombian Dark Roast” coloring to his eyes!)!

Comment / Posted in Coffee, Editing, Writing