Exhibit 1.8.8

Despite the Potential




to portray Blofield or even Dr. Claw-level villainy, Brett and I might not even be capable of portraying life.

But next time

Comment / Posted in Bond, Bretts, Villainy

Exhibit 1.5.14


* If I’d never worked a job, I probably would doubt the authenticity of this guide to 90s slang from Express. But I have worked a job and, yep, someone got paid to do that. My only regret is that it wasn’t me.

* My favorite similar corporate awareness vacuum was a branding guide full of charts explaining what celebrities a bank was like (Anderson Cooper) and not like (Madonna) with detailed reasons for why. So basically the bank wanted to be an asexual silver fox in favor of more traditional bra designs instead of, you know, a bank.

* Here’s Brett:

* In the last two days on Twitter I’ve made a somewhat obscure Juliana Hatfield joke and a League of Women Voters joke. O, and one about Rizzoli and Isles. Feeling pretty proud of myself. Might just have to quit while I’m on top.

* The Cupboard, by the way, is now on Twitter here. Follow.

* That’s all I’ve got. Unless you want to talk about Game of Thrones. No? Fine.

3 Comments / Posted in Bretts, Links, Things

Exhibit 1.2.12


* I have a short(er) story in the new issue of StoryQuarterly. It comes from a time when I thought 1,000 word stories were the future. Now I know that the real future is 500 word stories. It was a simpler time, 2009.

* Anyway, my thing is mostly notable for being a one-note joke about having to harvest a cowboy if you want a pair of cowboy boots. Sort of like how I had to kill that elephant to get these stylish tusks you’ve noticed me wearing. I did not, however, have to kill it with my bare hands. That I did for me. Also, to best Orwell. The pussy.

* Now I’ve made myself sad thinking about animal violence. I’m against it.

* I’m still reading through the issue–it’s fairly massive–but so far my favorite story actually has considerable animal violence (or at least animal death). Bethany Reece’s “The Dog Dies” won me over anyway. A collection of different dog deaths, it’s terribly sad but funny and touching in all the right ways. I didn’t want to like it, but I couldn’t help it, not when it includes lines about trying to slap a dog soul. It’s hard to explain why that works, but it does. I’m a fan.

* After, in penance, I stared at a picture of Brett’s dog soul for an hour:

Comment / Posted in Bretts, Fiction, Journals

Exhibit 27.22


* Enjoyed this Zadie Smith piece from the NY Review of Books on Facebook and “Generation Why?”

* Unfortunately, “Generation Why?” was the title of everyone born after 1980’s coming-of-age novel so now we’re just going to have to skip a generation. I look forward to everyone born after 1990’s coming-of-age novel, “September 11th Birthday.”

* Dave writes about publishing (both getting yourself published and publishing others) right here.

* For a more complete The Cupboard origin story, I suggest reading the old interview we did with Chris Higgs on HTML Giant here. Maybe it’s because The Cupboard is about to change again, but I’m getting all wistful.

* I’m also wistful for when this blog used to be all cute dog photos and cupcake recipes. To make it up to you, here’s Brett hunting the most dangerous game: baby.

* O, Charlie, don’t you know the camera is simply a distraction? Behind you! Behind you!

* I hope this once and for all answers the question of what would happen if a bunch of plane babies washed up on an island. They’d be photographed with cute dogs then blogged about.

Comment / Posted in Bretts, Charlies, The Cupboard