Answered Questions

Exhibit 27.7

Answers

Okay, so we can all agree that this is fake, right? If it’s not, I’d feel bad posting it, but the question “Should I get the abortion that my cat is recommending?” settles it for me.

(In case you’re curious, I stumbled upon this Yahoo Answers article while fact checking a moment in a student’s story. Yes, fiction workshop makes me want to clear my browser’s cache. Let’s move on).

Best lines from answers to this question:

* To begin with, don’t listen to your cat.

* Why would you murder your baby because your cat thinks it’s a good idea?

* I’m sorry to say, and not trying to be mean or anything, but don’t listen to an animals opinion.

* Lose the cat (or at least declaw it).

* But if you really love your fiance, as i think you do cause you said yes to marring him.

* My grandma’s father’s cat ate a bird my great-grandfather liked more.

* Cats generally know best…take the feline’s advice and terminate asap.

* I think your cats needs to be put in her place! HER POLITICAL VIEWS ARE IRRELEVANT!

* Just let your cat perform the abortion.

* Source: degree in human behaviour; animal behaviour; and personal experience.

O, and don’t worrying about answering this question yourself. It’s resolved.

1 Comment / Posted in Answered Questions, Cats, Politics

Exhibit 19.17

Links

* I feel like I can post this now that the Royals have won 4 in a row and the seagull game is a distant memory, but Joe Posnanski had a comprehensive rundown of embarrassing things the Royals have done during this era of futility. My favorite is still the time in 2005 they led off the game batting out of order. Retrosheet describes the situation toward the bottom of this page.

At the time I remember the general reaction being somewhat muted as it was almost so unprecedented that no one quite realized how dumb this was. The Royals lost that game 5-0, as if after David DeJesus had to bat twice to start the game they just said screw it and decided to try harder the next day. Or they realized Runelvys Hernandez was the pitcher and that it didn’t really matter anyway.

* The question: Which guy from Three Men and a Baby is your favorite/would make the best cake? The answer.

* Here’s another great interview with Chris Higgs where he says interesting things and insists that he doesn’t have children. I’m sure it won’t surprise Chris to learn I disagree with a fair bit of what he says–he obviously has children if people are asking him about them–yet we often times end up loving the very same books. I don’t know how or why that happens, but I like it.

Comment / Posted in Answered Questions, Links, Royals

Exhibit 18.13

I answered some questions for Ryan Manning’s series of interviews. You should read it–here–if you’ve ever wondered why I keep asking you for your extra Legos then awkwardly declining when you offer some from your space set.

Sorry. I had to keep my castle plans under wraps so the pirates wouldn’t suspect anything.

3 Comments / Posted in Answered Questions, Interviews, Ryans

Exhibit 17.14

There was a question asked in the comment section of the last post. Shockingly it was not ‘Who is Julio Pimental?’ but instead a sincere question about writing. I am much more qualified to answer the question about Julio Pimental, but, sadly, these things aren’t up to me.

The question:

Do you think that if one is an aspiring writer and his or her writing style is more like that of Meg Cabot (author of The Princess Diaries) than of anyone else, he or she should abandon all dreams of literary greatness and resign himself or herself to a life of prosaic high school teacherhood?

Anonymous in Albuquerque

Okay, so I made the name up. Still, while I could have passed something like this onto Anders Landers (who would be equally adept at fielding the Julio Pimental question, by the way), I decided to answer it myself. It’s a good question.

My answer:

Hmm.

Well, I would say there’s no dichotomy there. Teach high school. Don’t teach high school. Write literary fiction. Write popular fiction. None of these things (even the last two) are really mutually exclusive.

Nor are they necessarily things one should ever have to resign oneself to. The only bad choice, at least as far as writing is concerned, would be to do something that doesn’t interest you (a different, smarter person would probably substitute “make you happy” for “interest you”).

The rest of it just stuff (stuff to pay the bills, stuff to satisfy your ego, stuff to keep you busy, etc.) Most of the time the writing is just stuff, too, but if you’re writing what you want to write, it will at least be your stuff. And if it’s your stuff, you’ve found a way to put a little bit of yourself into the world.

I have no doubt most people find something similarly special in their lives (more than a few from teaching high school, no doubt).

It’s a good thing though, the only true thing, really, and it exists outside of publications or conceptions of “literary greatness” or even whatever one does for a paycheck.

You do that, you’ll be alright.

Thus ends the first installment of my new favorite segment on this blog: Adam Peterson answers random, anonymous questions.

I’m not in any way being facetious. I enjoyed this.


So that was my answer. I thought I’d post it because, like I said, it’s a good question and I didn’t figure anyone would ever see it in the comments. I also know others probably have answers they’d like to share. Okay, I don’t know this or even suspect it, but it seems like the thing to say.

Feel free to ask your own random, anonymous question on future posts. If you don’t, I’ll just keep writing about clowns.

I’m still sad about the clowns.

3 Comments / Posted in Answered Questions, Julios, Writing